


Maybe your shoes aren't so different from mine

by OnlyTeenageWasteland



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Dysfunctional Family, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Secrets, Forced Bonding, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Internal Conflict, Self-Discovery, Trust Issues, angst with funny moments, swap bodies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-06-12 14:20:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15341679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnlyTeenageWasteland/pseuds/OnlyTeenageWasteland
Summary: It happened.Due to magic, the Batfamily swap bodies and now they will discover things that they never thought about each of the members.They can't hide their secrets and problems anymore, will this be the worst curse of all? or maybe a necessary evil for this dysfuntional family?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, here is the thing. I had this first chapter in my notes for a long time but wasn't sure to post it. The first time I wanted to make a fanfic longer than a oneshot it went terribly wrong. My first language is not English and I insisted on doing it in that language and the results were not as expected.
> 
> I told myself that I wouldn't make a story with chapters ever again but I think I shouldn't limit myself anymore. Also now I have the help of a translator to not make so many grammatical errors.
> 
> Still, there may be some grammatical mistakes so I'm sorry for that.

"Robin here, there seems to be a complication in the northern area"

"Batman to Robin, Report."

The mission was more complicated than previously thought. A robbery had been reported at the Gotham Museum and when the dynamic duo arrived at the site, things scalated quickly. An explosion caused the disappearance of a large part of the artworks and a lot of people were injured. In the security cameras they saw a man dressed in strange tunics who went to the area of mystical artifacts. The same man stopped in front of a ring made of stone with symbols engraved on the surface. He made an enchantment and the symbols shone. Then the symbols appeared on his skin and his eyes lit up as well. After that moment the cameras died and the city became dark. If Gotham city with light at night is hell, without light it would be a complete apocalypse.

The man was about to leave with his acquisition but Batman and Robin arrived and confronted him. What they didn't know was that the man was carrying explosives and was planning something bigger.

"More explosions have been reported in other areas of the city and the northern area seems to be the most affected, there are several buildings on fire and many families are under rubble." said Robin by the comms

"I'll call for backup" Said Batman

"Tt! We do not need those useless, I have everything under control!" Robin protested

"Don't argue Robin. Batman out"

Batman put his communicator in conference mode and conected with Nightwing and Red Robin

"Hi bat, don't tell me, you need help in Gotham?" Dick said

"I think it's obvious wing, it's in all the news" Tim's voice was heard

"I need you here." Batman didn't hesitate to say

"Well, I'm in Blüdhaven so I can get there in about 20 minutes" said Dick

"I'm in my apartment, I can get there in a few minutes too" responded Tim

"Good, I need all the help I can get. Communicate when you arrive to assign your positions. Batman out"

While he was waiting for Nightwing and Red Robin to arrive, Batman had to work as quickly as possible to find the man responsible for the incidents. The man seemed to be very careless as he left many traces. Although he couldn't rule out the possibility that everything was part of a trap.

"Batman to penny one, do you have any trace?"

"Yes sir, I found a pattern in the explosions, all the spots where there were detonations are joining to form a circle"

"That means we can track his next move."

"It is correct sir, according to the pattern, his next and last attack will be in crime alley"

"Understood, Batman out"

Batman got into the batimobile to get to the alley as soon as possible.

"Batman to Robin, report."

Silence

"Robin, report."

Again silence.

Batman didn't like that. He put the communicator back in conference mode

"Nightwing, Red Robin, are you in the area?"

"I've arrived, I'm in the museum" said Dick

"I'm in the northern area, there are a lot of injured people around here." said Tim

"Red Robin, I need you to find Robin, he doesn't answer his communicator"

"Are you serious? I leave my apartment to help and what you assign me is to find the little demon? Surely he is out there breaking the bones of everyone" said Tim irritated

"I asked for your help and you're here to follow my orders, you are in the area and that is why I assign that task to you, report when you have news." Batman cut the communication leaving Tim with a very bad mood

"Nightwing, I need you to finish clearing the people who are in and around the museum, I am following a trail of the man responsible for this."

"Understood Batman, nightwing out" said Dick

Batman came to Crime alley but didn't see anyone. Maybe he had arrived before the man or maybe it was a trap. No matter what, he should be cautious.

"Wow, look who didn't invite me to the party"

Batman quickly pulled out a batarang and pointed it where the voice came from

"Red Hood." Said Batman with the usual serious tone "what are you doing here?"

"Contrary to what you think, the fact that I use guns doesn't mean that I'm not interested in common welfare, and also, one of those damn blasts destroyed my favorite restaurant and I want that son of a bitch to pay."

Batman was going to say something but his communicator sounded

"Red Robin to Batman, I found Robin"

"Let go of me you idiot! I don't need your help! I had everything under control!"

"Oh yeah? Well, it seems I have save your butt! Admit that you were suffocating in the smoke of the fire! "

"Tt! Of course not! I can survive in any kind of conditions!"

Batman put his hands on his temple to not lose patience

"Ha! Wow, and you complained about me when I was your 'son' " Jason said sarcastically

"Hood." Said Batman in a warning tone

"Did you say Hood! Are you telling me that that other idiot is here !?" Damian said indignant

Jason snorted "Hello to you too, baby gremnlin!"

In the communicators Tim's laughter was heard

"when I find you, Todd, I'm going to destroy you piece by piece!" Damian yelled furious

"ENOUGH!" Batman said in a louder tone

They all fell silent but it was too late since their little distraction got the mysterious man to slip away and detonate the other bomb. Batman and Red Hood were forcibly expelled from the explosion.

"Hood, are you okay?" Batman asked after falling to the ground

"What do you care!?" Hood yelled. "Damn, this jacket was new! That son of a bitch is going to pay!" Jason took his gun and pointed it to see if he saw the man

"No guns, Red Hood!" Said Batman

"I do what I want, so move to a damn side!" Jason replied

Before Batman could answer him, Alfred's voice was heard in the comms

"Here Penny one, the pattern is already formed but I see that the man is heading towards the center of the circle, I think he will make an important move there"

"Understood. Hood, I need your help, but please, don't use weapons"

"Oh! now you ask me for something! and to top it off I have to follow your rules? No thanks, I pass."

"Fine! you can use your guns but don't shoot to kill, it's the only thing I ask you" said Batman

Jason kept thinking. He really wanted to catch that guy and he knew that he couldn't do it alone

"Ugh! Fine! but I'm not promising you anything, if my patience runs out, the shot in the head will be his fault!"

Batman sighed 'I guess it's better than nothing' he thought. He reconnected the comms in conference mode

"Nightwing, Red Robin and Robin, I need you at the coordinates that I sent you. The man behind all this will be at that point and I need all the reinforcements to stop him"

"Understood." They said all at once

Batman and Red Hood first arrived at the place. Then Nightwing and seconds later Robin and Red Robin

"Jay?" Dick said surprised

"Wow, Dickiebird, I didn't know we were going for nicknames now" Jason said sarcastically

"Oh I'm sorry, I just didn't expect you here" said Dick

"Tt nobody called him" said Robin crossing his arms defensively

"And nobody asked for your opinion, brat!" he answered back

"Can you stop arguing!?" Red Robin said

"Oh, I'm sorry replacement, just tell your little brother to calm down a bit," Jason answered

"He is not my brother! How dare you compare me to such a thing!?" Damian said indignant

"I can say the same of you! Next time I'll bring a pacifier so you can shut up!" Tim yelled at him

Jason laughed at Tim's comment

"Hahaha and we'll give him an onesie of a Gremlin! It's going to look identical!" said Jason laughing

"How dare you make fun of me!? You're going to pay!" Damian could hardly contain the anger

"Guys, why don't you calm down a bit?" said Nightwing a little nervous

"Nightwing is right, you're being very immature." Said Batman supporting the older

"Oh sure, I forgot the golden child! He who does everything right and is never in the wrong! Let's see if we can turn him into a saint and we light some candles to see if he gives me something right in life!" Jason said in a sarcastic tone

"What are you talking about? I am the biological son! I should be the golden son!" Damian shouted indignant

"Oh wake up brat, you're nobody, no one of you is worth anything to him because nobody is going to be better than Goldie here! Just wait and die to see how he would do nothing to avenge your death!"

"you're lying!" Robin almost screamed

"Hood, that's not true" said Batman with determination

"Ah, now you deny it!? After I catch that son of a bitch, I'll make your dream come true, I'll get out of here and you'll never see me again!" Hood yelled at Batman

"I never wanted that!" The conversation had become too personal to stop it at this point

"Please, calm down, you are losing control" pleaded Dick

"Tt, you're right. While my father ends with Todd, you and I can catch that man, like in the old days!" Robin said to Nightwing

"What!? I think you wanted to say that ' I ' should work with Nightwing like in the old days because ' I ' was Robin first!" Said Tim angry

"No, you 'were' a robin. And because you're a failure, Grayson chose me instead!"

"Robin, that's not true!" Dick said indignantly

"Shut up dwarf! You're not Robin because you deserve it, you're Robin out of sorrow! Because you were 'a poor child' who had lost his father!"

"Of course not! Tell him Grayson, tell him I'm better Robin than him!" The youngest shouted

"Ha! See how immature you are!? I can see that you are dying for attention! Always arrogant and forcing others to praise you, but you know what? I see the truth! You are just a child who is desperate to be someone, even if that includes taking away the identity of others! "

"Ahhhh!!! I'm going to kill you!" Damian threw himself towards Tim and they started fighting

"Ehh Batman, we have a little problem here" said Dick trying to separate the minors

On the other hand, Batman and Red Hood's discussion was also about to go to the blows

"You think everything was so simple!? You don't know what I went through after you died!" yelled Batman

"Oh! yes, I imagine you were so devastated that it didn't even occur to you to avenge my fucking death!" yelled back Jason

"You know that I can't kill!" replied batman

"Not even to avenge your own son! Oh, sorry, I forgot that in your eyes I was never one!" yelled again Jason

"Really!? after all, is that what you think!?" Said Batman outraged

"It's called fucking reality!" Jason shouted

The four members were still arguing and it seemed they weren't going to stop at any time. Dick didn't know what to do, so he decided to follow the lead that Alfred had sent. The man had formed a circle around the city and now they were in the center of the circle... This seemed to have to do with magic, and everything that had to do with magic never ends well.

Dick saw something written on the floor. It seemed to be a symbol

"Ehh guys?" Nightwing said. But the others were still in their discussions

Suddenly the man with the tunics teleported from that symbol and he had the stolen article of the museum with him

"...GUYS!?" Said Dick louder

At that moment everyone stopped arguing and with anger responded at the same time

"WHAT DO YOU WANT!?... oh"

After shouting that, they realized what was happening and they put themselves in attack position

"Well, well, well, look what an interesting situation." Said the man "I took this for fun" he said looking at the ring "and I think I will indeed have it" he said laughing

"What are you talking about, idiot? Just surrender and give us the stupid rock" Damian said desperately

"Oh, but this is not just a simple rock! You see, this is an astral ring, very old, I've heard great stories about this wonderful piece and I was outraged to know that it was locked in a museum without being properly used"

"And let me see, you 're the chosen one or some shit like that?" Said Jason

"Haha I like your humor, but no, I'm just a great fan of ancient magic and I've practiced this enchantment many times, the only thing that worried me was not having volunteers to help me but apparently that is no longer a problem!" He said very excited

"Oh, so just an amateur? Good, another for Arkham. Don't tell me, you're a magician who likes to do tricks and make people believe that magic is real? Ha! Surely if I see the security tapes with attention, I can detect all your tricks." said Tim with boredom

"Leave that artifact and give in. You have no way to escape" said Batman, also lowering his guard when he saw that he was just a simple fan who didn't know what he was doing

"Nah nah, it will not be that easy." Said the man who continued to step on the ground symbol. He lifted the piece in the air and again recited the words of the museum

"... I don't know about you, but this seems like real magic" said nightwing

Now the symbols of the rock, of the ground and of his skin were illuminated and the earth began to tremble and the lights went out again

Batman was ready to attack but was immobilized in his place. No one could move from where they were and although they had uniforms and couldn't see, they could feel the symbols throughout their bodies as well

When the man finished, the first to collapse was Dick. The rest of the vigilantes saw him fall to the floor unconscious while in his face were the bright symbols that everyone had.

"What did you do to him!?" Robin shouted

"Hahah, well, this Astral Ring is wiser than I thought. Oh, don't worry, soon you too will fall into a deep sleep" said the man smiling

"What have you done to us?!" Shouted Red Hood "Let me move so I can kill you!"

"...I don't feel so well" said Tim

Batman was still struggling but he seemed to lose the battle too

"Oh, don't keep fighting Batman, it will be impossible for you not to fall asleep, Hahaha!"

With those last words he saw that man leave without being able to do anything about it. The last thing he saw when he closed his eyes was the unconscious body of his eldest son. After that, he only saw darkness.

~~~~~

It was cold and he felt lighter. He tried to get up but felt a great headache. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate. The last thing he remembered was being on the mission with Batman, then fighting with the little demon and then being cursed by some sorcerer. Yes, this was his life and he didn't think he could endure anything more ridiculous than that for the whole week. He tried to sit up and was surprised at how quickly he had done it. Again he felt very light, opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was his hands. No... These weren't his hands, they were a little smaller and had a darker complexion. They seemed to be... No. Nonononono, from his hands he looked at his body. 'No! Nononono this can't be happening to me!' He got up and ran to the first reflection he saw and couldn't help but let out a scream, or rather, several screams

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!

AHHHHH- "

"Ugh! hey brat stop screaming!" A voice was heard

Then a pause and the person spoke again

"Why is my voice more deeper?... No, why am I dressed like the bat?!"

Jason got up and almost fell through dizziness. When he recovered he turned to his right where there was a car. He scratched his eyes a little and when he saw his reflection he began to scream like Tim

"AAAAAAAHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH!!!!!"

At this point the two bodies that were sleeping woke up.

The first to speak was Damian

"Father, why are you screaming like that?" In that instant the menior stopped talking

"...Why do I sound like Drake!?!?"

"What are you talking about,Tim? I wasn't screaming, and since when do you sound like Damian?" said Bruce quite confused. He must have been quite disoriented to not realize he was using real names while they were in uniform

Then he also stopped when he realized something "... Jason?"

Bruce who was on the floor looked up and right next to him he saw... himself. He was even more confused and when he actually looked at himself he saw that he was not dressed like Batman but like Red Hood... He didn't like where this was heading.

Bruce ran to see himself in the mirror of the car and Damian ran to see himself in the reflection in which Tim had used. A few seconds passed and father and son shouted at the same time

"AHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

then Bruce looked at Jason who was in his body, and Jason who was in the body of Bruce did the same and the two began to scream

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

And on the other side Damian looked at Tim who was in his body and Tim who was in the body of Damian did the same and the two began to scream too

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

It seemed they were going to be screaming all day until Bruce stopped

"Wait, where's Dick?"

"Are you serious!? You're in MY body and still you care more about the golden boy!?" Jason yelled in an extremely deeper voice that he was not used to.

Tim and Damian also stopped screaming

"No, this can't be happening to me, how can I be in the body of someone so deficient!" Damian said indignant

"I think I'm going to faint, this can't be happening to me." said Tim

"Faint! How dare you insult my body with such a demeaning act!? Get up Drake! " Damian exclaimed

Then the two minors met with the two eldest

"Father?" Damian said but in Tim's body, which made everything even more surreal

"Yes?" Bruce responded but with Jason's body

"Jason?" Tim said but in Damian's body which was very strange because the boy always addressed the others by the last name

"...Yes?" Jason answered but with Bruce's body

Then the four of them turned to the floor and saw Dick in his Nightwing uniform still unconscious.

This didn't look good at all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I'm alive! I know it seems unbelieveble. I'm sorry for not posting in a long time, I'm terrible at managing my time and I'm drowning in school work. Not to mention that English is not my first language and I have to write first in Spanish and then try to translate everythig the best way i can, and above all that I need to add that I am extremely insecure about my writing and I don't know if what I write is good. But yeah, this chapter has been almost a month in my drafts and I didn't know whether to post it or keep changing it (I always see errors in everything write XD) but I think it's been a long time and this fanfic needed an update
> 
> I know I have many ideas for this fanfic, I just hope that my insecurities do not keep delaying me
> 
> Your comments would help me a lot, that way I know if I can fix something or if the story is on the right track... And yeah I admit that it helps a lot in my motivation XD

"Is he dead?"

"Of course not, he's breathing, so he can't be dead."

"Then why he doesn't wake up?" 

"Well, it's not obvious!? he always gets the best!" 

"Well, it seemed like the worst came to him, look at him, he doesn't wake up"

"The worst! What are you talking about? I also would rather be in his place than see my body being possessed by a demon!"

"Watch your mouth, Drake, remember I'm in your stupid body!" 

"I'm in yours too!"

"AHEM!"

Everyone suddenly fell silent and turned to where the voice came from. After they wake up and to their horror, discover that they were in the wrong bodies, they managed to get to the cave and put Dick on a stretcher. Now it was morning and they were trying to tell Alfred everything that happened to them

"Let me see if I understood correctly" said Alfred as he approached the group 

"The man you were chasing turned out to be a magician who stole a magical artefact from the museum and went all over the city and detonated explosives in specific places to cast a spell, then all of you met at the same point and the man suddenly appeared out of nowhere and he used all of you in his spell, Master Richard lost consciousness and then you followed him in his fate, and on awakening you discovered that you weren't in your respective bodies and that Master Richard was still unconscious. Am I correct?"

Everyone looked at each other for a moment and Bruce was the first to speak 

"Alfred, I know it seems hard to believe but-"

"Oh no Master Bruce, in this line of work I would expect anything, what I do find alarming is how each one of you will resolve your conflicts"

"Resolving conflicts? What are you talking about? The last thing I want in my life is to have contact with these people, I'm getting the hell out of here!"

Jason started walking away but a hand grabbed him 

Irritated he turned around and saw himself, well technically he saw Bruce but he didn't want to accept it yet

"Jason, where do you think you're going?"

"To sedate myself, take some sleeping pills or some shit like that! to see if I can have Dick's luck! When you find the cure for all this, then wake me up" Jason said as he turned around 

"You can't go around with my body taking decisions about taking medications!" Bruce yelled

"They're sleeping pills! they do no harm! Besides, the last thing I want in my fucking life is to have contact with you, and look at me! I'm stuck in your stupid body! I don't want to be like this for another second! At least I can be unconscious while this curse is happening!" Jason yelled back

"Tt, Todd is right, I also want some way to sleep, I don't want to be aware that I inhabit this useless body" said Damian

"Look demon spawn, I know we don't get along, but now you're in my body and I'm with Bruce in this, you can't go and consume things as if that body were yours" Tim said annoyed

Everyone was going to start another wave of discussions but the butler intervened 

"Well, masters, I think it's better that you go and change clothes, I'll prepare breakfast and then you can better calm yourselves down while you eat"

After hearing that, Jason had his eyes wide open

"...Change!? Hell no! I will not let the stupid old man undressing me!" Said Jason outraged

"Jason, it's your own body that's going to be changing your clothes!" Replied Bruce

"Yes! But it's not me who is inside my body!"

“It's just clothes!” Insisted Bruce

"... well” interrupted Tim “I agree with Jason, I don't want the dwarf to undress me neither. Who knows what he is capable of doing" said Tim a little bewildered

Damian crossed his arms "Don't think you're going to undress me too, Drake!"

"Well, I don't know how you're going to solve this little dilemma, but you must do it quickly, otherwise from this cave you will not come out. You know that I don't like to see you with uniforms on the table" Alfred looked at them seriously and they had no choice but to silently accept his orders

They knew that when Alfred gave the final word, if you didn't obey then there would be consequences. And right now the last thing that they want is to add more problems to their lives

After Alfred left, they stayed in their places without saying anything.

"Well, now what?" Said Jason

"We can change our clothes with our eyes closed?" Said Tim

"Or we can change the clothes of the person that is in our original body" suggested Damian

The other two seemed to considerate the idea that was proposed by the minor

"You can't be talking seriously." Bruce interrupted  "if we are going to be trapped in these bodies until God knows when, we have to do some things by ourselves, like it or not"

Everyone's eyes were on Bruce as if they couldn't understand what he was implying 

"Trust! We need to trust each other, like it or not, that's the only way"

"WHAT!?!?" "No-" "You're crazy-" "No, no-" 

Everyone started to protest and Bruce put his hand on his temple. This was even more difficult than he expected

"I know it's uncomfortable, but if we keep doing things this way we'll not advance with anything, besides, we are all males." Said Bruce

The others stopped to think but they knew that they had no other options

"Well... it's just being in our underwear, nothing huge, it's not like we have to bathe or something" Jason rationalized 

"Yes, I also hope we can solve this before we get to that point" said Bruce

After they all were in a compulsory agreement, finally everyone went to change individually. There were small  dressing rooms that were next to each other and each one of them had several clothing options with different sizes. Everything seemed fine while they were changing, but out of nowhere there was a sudden laugh from Jason

"Hahahahah!"

"Jason, shut up." Said Bruce

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but seriously?" Jason said between laughs

"Father, what is Todd laughing at?"

"Of nothing! We have to hurry" Said Bruce trying to change the subject

"Oh, Let me tell Clark!" Said Jason while laughing

"Jason, you're not going to say anything! I was in a hurry, it was the first thing I saw, I didn't even remember that!"

"Wait, you have a superman underwear?" Said Tim

"No!" Said Bruce

"Oh, yes, he has them, but I don't blame him, they are very comfortable" said Jason

"Can we move forward? Alfred is waiting for us" Said Bruce trying not to feel embarrassed 

When they finished and left the dressing rooms everyone looked at each other

"Why did you put on a superman shirt?" Said Bruce now embarrassed

"What? You don't like it? I saw it in the bottom of all the shirts and it's brand new! I thought it would be good to be the one to use it for the first time, they also combine with the underwear!" Jason said with the joy of knowing that he was making Bruce's life miserable

"Tt, how dare you insult my father like that? Todd, take that insult off!" Damian said indignant

"It doesn't matter, we must go upstairs for breakfast" said Tim 

"...where is Grayson?" Damian asked after he didn't see the stretcher

"Alfred must have put him in his room, we can ask him what he knows about Dick's condition when we get upstairs" said Bruce as he climbed the stairs

The others followed him and arrived at the dining room.

Each one took their respective chairs and waited for Alfred to arrive.

In the minutes that followed nobody said anything.

At some point, there was a moment in which everyone refused to look at each other and the silence became so heavy that it was exasperating. If you concentrate enough you could even listen to everyone's breathing

Then out of nowhere someone finally broke the silence

“…I don’t remember the last time I saw this table so full” Tim commented

No one responded 

Offended, Tim rolled his eyes and looked at one side

There were a couple of awkward moments of silence until suddenly someone said something

“yes” responded Bruce

Silence

Time seemed to stop. The only thing that was heard was the tick tock of the grandfather clock but it felt like it was in slow motion

Someone swallowed

A stomach growled

And someone took a deep breath

Out of nowhere Bruce started to shake his leg but he seemed to not be aware of that

Now there seemed to be an earthquake on the table. The slow motion of the ticking of the clock struggled with the rapid tremor of the table. Two sound waves that are in different poles were fighting against the opposition of their sources to see which one of the two was going to stand out more

There was a long moment where nobody addressed the issue 

But then again, another person broke the silence

“You are shaking the table” Damian stated

Bruce stop

He looked at Jason

“…This body is too anxious” he finally said

Jason snorted

“Excuse me? Your body is too old! I’m having some weird headaches” said Jason as he placed a hand in his forehead

That got Bruce’s attention

“…since when?” Bruce said

“Oh now you care?”

“you’re in my body, of course I care”

“Oh, so you’re admitting that you only care for yourself!” 

Bruce closed his eyes

He took a deep breath 

And he opened them again

“Great, now you’re giving me a headache as well!” protested Bruce

“Well I’m glad!” said Jason

“you’re glad that your own body is in pain? Well Todd, you should have told me you were such a masochist, I will have a good time making you suffer” said Damian

Jason rolled his eyes and chose to ignore the minor 

A couple of seconds of silence 

“idiot” Tim said 

“well, I can't believe that I can agree with you in something for the first time” responded Damian

“Well I’m glad you agree because I wasn’t talking about Jason, I was talking about you”

“Excuse me?! what did you just say?!” Damian said insulted

“That you’re an idiot. If Jason is a masochist and you make him suffer, the only thing that you’ll achieve is to give him pleasure”

Damian remained silent while thinking about it

“wow replacement, you finally got him” 

“Shut up, Todd! Lets see if you find pleasure as I kill you!”

“Well, I have my own opinion about being brutally murdered, but now that we're in the topic why don’t you tell me about it? I know you also have a good experience with being mutilated to death”

Damian reminded silent

"Jason!" Scolded Bruce

“ha! You got him!” Tim said smiling

Damian started to get more angry 

“wow, do I really get that red when I'm angry?” commented Tim

“Ugh tell me about that, I didn't realize that the shape of my ass wasn't as round and full as I thought until I saw myself from another perspective” said Jason

“you were checking my ass?” said Bruce

“Excuse me? Is my ass! You wish that beauty were yours! At your age I will not be surprise that you are starting to sag”

“Jason, I’m not that old.” Said Bruce annoyed

“Besides, it's my body! I can see myself and admire any part of my body when I feel like it”

"..." Bruce was watching Jason thoughtfully

"...what?" Replied Jason at Bruce's silence

"...So technically you were 'checking yourself' out” asked Bruce

“yes”

“…from my own eyes”

“yes- no, wait, I mean… what?”

Jason took a moment to think about it and suddenly cringed at the mental picture

“ha! It seems that father got you, Todd!” said Damian with satisfaction

Suddenly they heard a sound and when they turned around, they saw Alfred who was finally arriving with the food. He put the dishes in front of everyone and served their drinks

"Why I don't have meat?" Said Tim looking at his plate that only contained cereal and some fruits while the others had scrambled eggs with bacon and sausages

"I'm a vegetarian" Damian said

"You? a vegetarian? Since when!? You kill anything that moves!" Said Tim in disbelief

"Well, for your information I don't do that anymore, and even if I did, that doesn't make me a carnivorous murderer of animals like you!" Damian said starting to get upset

"So you're telling me that killimg amimals it's more inhuman that killing humans!?"

"You would never understand, Drake!"

"It's all about survival!"

"No. I believe that humans are perfectly evolutionated to sustain themselves without meat. Of course, you wouldn't understand this because you're too primitive!"

"Ugh, I want meat!" Tim said with irritation

"Master Tim, if you want I can make you some vegan meat that I have in the fridge" suggested Alfred

"Vegan meat? Is that a thing? Is not that, I don't know, completely contradictory!?

"Tt, Pennyworth, take this massacre out of my sight and make me a cereal"

"Can we exchange food?" Asked Tim

"Are you crazy? You're not going to contaminate my body with this!" He said as he looked with disgust at the meat

"It's just meat! Surely you'll have lots of experience eating people"

"How dare you! I'm going to end you!" damian said outraged

"Well, good luck with that, because when you kill me you would be technically killing yourself!"

"Stop arguing!" Bruce intervened "Tim, eat the cereal, if you want meat, accept Alfred's offer"

Tim crossed his arms in frustration

"Ah! fine! I hope this is only temporary because I don't think I can't be a minute longer like this"

Jason snorted at the comment "Welcome to the club, replacement! I'm only here 'playing family' with all of you so we can solve this bullshit faster. After that I will desapear and I won't see your faces ever again" Said Jason from his chair. Then he looked at Alfred "except you Alf, you will be the only person of this place that would be allowed in my life"

"I feel very flattered master Jason" after saying that, Alfred went to change the two dishes and returned minutes later with the new food

"This looks like normal meat to me" said Tim while he inspected the plate

"Master Tim, vegan meat is a great alternative to include in a diet and is usually made from vegetable ingredients such as tofu, soy, wheat and seaweed, ingredients that provide essential nutrients in a good vegetarian diet." Said Alfred

"Also, if what you want is to please your palate with your savage and bestial instincts, the Seitan or Wheat gluten can taste a lot like meat if it is properly seasoned and at no time have I had any complaints with the culinary style of Pennyworth " Damian added

Tim played with the food for a few seconds and then looked at them for a moment. He took a deep breath and exhale defeated

He took a bite of the 'meat' and chewed it 

"Hey, it doesn't taste so bad" he said surprised

He took another bite and savored it better

"It tastes like vegetable... meat? It's weird, but it tastes good," he said as he continued to devour the plate 

"Well" interrupted Bruce "Since we're all at the table, can you tell us about Dick's status, Alfred?"

"Master Dick is completely fine, he has good vitals and the blood samples are good, he really is not supposed to be unconscious, he must have woken up like the rest of you but for some strange reason he has not. I have done other tests but in all of them it says that he is completely healthy "

"That's odd" said Bruce to himself

"Well, I keep saying that the golden boy was lucky, I would give anything to be in his place" Jason said as he continued to eat his food

"We need to know why Dick doesn't wake up and why are we like this. This is an issue that has to do with magic and that is not our specialty, we need the help of a magician." said Bruce thoughtfully 

"Zatanna?" Said Tim 

"Yes, I was thinking about her" Bruce finished his plate and got up "I'll see if I can contact her" he said as he went to get his cell phone 

Meanwhile, the rest stayed at the table and finished eating

"What is this?" Said Tim looking at his coffee mug "it looks like water with colorant and artificial flavor!" 

"My coffee seems to have 5 cans of energy drinks! How can you take this?" Damian said while drinking a glass of water to remove the taste of pure coffee

"Master Tim has been drinking coffee for longer and has developed a higher tolerance for caffeine, I don't approve of it but I don't think it is possible to divorce him from coffee"

"Alfred, how many times have I told you, coffee is the fundamental source of life! And without that source I can't live!" Said Tim 

"Well, I don't intend to take this atomic bomb, I prefer a juice, Pennyworth?" 

"I'll get it right away, Master Damian."

Meanwhile, in the living room Bruce was talking on the phone 

"Just... don't laugh."

_"Hahahah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, let me see, you're not Jason Todd?"_

"No. I'm Bruce, I'm stuck in Jason's body."

_"Oh... hahahah-"_

"Zatanna, Please-" 

_"Wait, are you sure you're Bruce? I've never heard him beg in my life"_

There was a silence that was translated in Bruce trying not to lose his head 

_"Okay, I was joking, I will get to your house today to see what I can do, okay?"_

"Yes, thank you Zatanna" was the last thing he said before hanging up the call

Bruce inhaled and exhaled deeply. 'I just had to survive until the afternoon, right?'

'Then everything would be back to normal'

He looked at the phone's clock. 'Well, in my case it would be better for me that she arrive a little earlier' he thought 'although I don't think it will affect me much if I miss a dose...’

Bruce was in his own world for a moment until a voice distracted him

"Do you know how weird it is to see myself zone out? Hey! Earth to me!"

Bruce looked at himself, well he really wanted to say Jason, who was next to Damian and Tim, also taking into account that they were also inverted

"What did Zatanna tell you?" Tim asked

"She said that she will pass today, which means that we must remain calm"

"Oh come on, you're shittin' me? I've never felt so old!" Jason said as he looked at his 'new' body

"My father is not old, Todd!" Damian said insulted

"Don't complain Jason, at least you're not in the body of a pre teen" said Tim looking at himself 

"I'm not a pre teen! I'm a teenager! I turned 13, months ago!"

"Really? you're such a dwarf that I thought you were still 9"  Tim replied 

"Don't start Drake!" Damian said in a threatening tone

'Sure, we just have to wait until Zatanna comes. Then Dick will wake up and all of us will be in our original bodies again and this would have been just some weird nightmare.' Bruce told himself

Then he saw the others who were arguing for who knows what this time

Yes, they just need to wait

...if only it were that simple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel this is the calm before the storm XD


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you have a new chapter, product of severe procrastination and free time from thanksgiving!
> 
> This chapter is longer than the others, so I hope it will be a relief for the long time you all waited for an update.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

The seconds that were converted into minutes and then into hours passed, and  time, instead moving forward, it  seemed not to move at all.

The members of the family tried to entertain themselves with different things to clear their minds of the obvious problem that was going on in their lives

They were still trying to fit into their new bodies which created quite a bit of discomfort

They were all in different areas of the living room. On the sofa, Jason tried to concentrate and read a book but in an act of frustration he closed it tightly and threw it on the floor. The book fell miserably on Damian's feet causing him to be distracted from his cell phone game

"Tt, what's the matter, Todd, you're such an idiot that you can't read?" Damian said irritably then he saw his cell phone and realized that he had lost the game he was playing

"AGH! You're an idiot! Because of you I lost my record!" Damian threw the cell phone hard to where Jason was, hitting him hard on the shoulder

"Ah! That hurt, demon's brat!" Jason was going to get up off the couch to hit Damian but someone stopped him

"Jason" said reproachfully Bruce

"Do not look at me like that! Control your demon child!"

"You were the one who started! It's not my fault that you're such an idiot that you can't understand a simple text and decide to have a tantrum for your lack of intellect!"

"Damian, calm down, and don't hit Jason again, even if it's not myself, he's in my body and it's disrespectful to hit your father," said Bruce, trying to stay calm.

"Tt, technically it's not me who is hitting your body, it's Drake"

Bruce looked at Damian with a disapproving look but the minor didn't pay much attention and it didn't seem to affect him 

Then Jason looked at him with a murderous look and Damian retracted a bit. After a second of confusion, Jason remembered that part of being in Bruce's body meant that he could now do the bat glare that so many fear

"I'm not an idiot!" Jason defended himself, returning to the discussion "Also, for your information, I have read more books than you!"

"That's impossible, I read a complete encyclopedia at age five!"

"And I read Don Quixote at the age of four!"

That took Damian unprepared

"...you're lying!" He said, not believing what Jason said

Jason was going to answer but then closed his eyes and ran his hand over his head as he organized his thoughts

Bruce notice it 

"Jason, are you okay? I don't recommend that you stress-"

"Shut up! I didn't tell you to talk! You know how pathetic it is to see myself with that face of false worry? It disgusts me!" Jason said with pure hatred that coming from Bruce's body was more intimidating

Bruce was getting irritated with Jason's attitude "I care about you! Also, you're in my body and-"

"And you only worry about your own well-being! Yes yes I already know" 

"It's not that! I know my body, that's why I'm telling you to calm down... Believe me you don't want to over stress yourself"

Bruce began to shake his leg to release tension but he seemed not to notice

Jason noticed it but didn't say anything

"And how do you want me to calm down?! I can't even concentrate on my book because my head hurts! And to top it off, your demonic son does not stop bothering me and the stupid replacement keeps throwing that damn and stupid ball against the fucking wall!!"

Everyone turned to see Tim who was on the floor throwing a ball towards the wall. Suddenly he felt the attention he received and turned to see the others

"...What?"

"You keep hitting that ball against the wall and you'll see how well I will fit it inside your-"

"Don't you dare touch my body Todd!"

Damian moved from one place to another to release tension and then became frustrated again

"Agh! When will the witch come!?"

"Her name is Zatanna and she is one of the best sorceresses in our universe, you should show more respect as she's the one that will help us with our problem," Bruce said impatiently

"It's so gringy to see me act that way, it's completely humiliating! Grow up and be mature for once!" Said Tim rolling his eyes  in frustration

"Says the one who had a tantrum for not having meat for breakfast!" Damian defended himself

"That was valid! Also, your pre-adolescent body is growing, who knows if not eating meat is what gives you the size of a smurf!"

"Agh! I'm a teenager, you idiot! And at least I'm going to keep growing! You, on the other hand, have no chance anymore, you only reach my father and Todd until their shoulders!"

"For your information, men continue to grow until they reach 21 years old! So you'll see how I get to 6 feet in the couple of years I have left!" 

Just when they were going to start another wave of discussions, suddenly the bell rang in the mansion and everyone kept silent and they looked at each other

Then they saw Alfred walk towards the door and when he said: "Good afternoon, Miss Zatanna," everyone ran towards the door

"Tell me you have a solution" said Jason without missing a second

"Do not say it as a question Todd, she HAS the solution, that is not even question, right, Zatara? " said Damian insistently

Zatanna watched them and couldn't help laughing

"What are you laughing at? This is not funny!" Said Tim indignant

Bruce at this point was resigned "Zatanna, please... Stop laughing"

Listening to Bruce pleading from Jason's body that way only made her laugh even more. Alfred left for a moment and the four members of the family stared at her sourly. Afred returned with a glass of water and offered it to the guest

"Oh, I'm sorry I'm sorry, it's been a while since I laughed like that Thank you Alfred" Zatanna said as she drank her glass of water and calmed down her laughter and when she calmed down she spoke again

"Okay, I'm ready, tell me what happened"

The family describe what happened all over again. In the middle of the story there were many discussions and disagreements on the way the events occurred since everyone blamed each other

"The situation got out of control-" said Bruce

"... But if it hadn't been for Drake's useless-" Damian began

"-and everything went to hell when this old man right here did that!" Jason added

"-obviously all that wouldn't have happened if the devil's spawn hadn't been lost!" Claimed Tim "

When they finally finished, they all stared at Zatanna for her to say something

"...Well" she said trying to digest the story "I think I have an idea of what may be happening, but I must see Dick before I am sure"

"Oh perfect! At last this nightmare is over" said Jason with hope

Zatanna looked at him with a little sadness

"...if this is what I think it is... Well, I don't think this dilemma is so easy to solve"

"...What are you trying to tell me??" Jason said beginning to be alarmed

"It's not sure yet, I just have to check Dick out to be sure. Where he is?"

They all guided Zatanna to Dick's room. When they entered they saw him in bed and he seemed to be asleep. Zatanna approached and sat on the edge of the bed to see him more closely

"Dick, can you hear me?" Zatanna tried to move him but he didn't react

"Alfred says he's stable and he should have woken up like the rest of us, but we don't know why he's still unconscious" said Bruce 

Zatanna said a few words backwards and placed her hand in the air above Dick and did a head-to-toe check. Then she closed her fist and was thinking for a few moments

"... Something wrong with him?" Bruce asked a little worried

"No, he's fine, he's just asleep"

"Then why doesn't he wake up?" Damian asked

"Because it is a sleep state  induced by magic. His body is waiting to be awakened" added the sorceress

"Ok... So we must wake up the golden boy to get rid of this spell?" Jason said "if so, where I can find a drill? I think if I made a hole in an arm..."

"Don't you dare Todd!" Damian said

"I don't understand. Why only Dick is in a sleep induced by magic, and why we aren't  affected?" said Tim

"Because" Zatanna interrupted, "this spell is more complex than I anticipated"

"Zatanna... How complex are we talking about?" Said Bruce

"...As complex as ancient magic of hundreds of millions of years old"

"What!? How is that possible! If the guy was an idiot who thought he was a sorcerer for having a rock with the form of a ring! " Jason said in disbelief

"Well, that 'Idiot' has extensive knowledge about prehistoric magic in order to make that ring work," Zatanna said.

"It's just a stupid rock!" Insisted Jason

"That 'rock' is an astral ring, do you have any idea how powerful that is?" Zatanna said a little offended

"And here we go again, it looks like rock, it acts like rock and let's not forget the most important thing, IT'S A ROCK!" Jason was beginning to lose patience again

"Tt I agree with Todd, besides the show of lights that idiot did in dirty rags, that thing didn't shine or did anything magical" Damian said

Zatanna was about to lose patience "Magic can manifest itself in different ways, there doesn't necessarily have to be a show to prove its efficiency"

"Ok ok let's suppose that ring-shaped rock works for something, what's 'its power'?" Jason asked

"Well, first of all, I must remind you that magic is older than time itself, in any case, magic spells because they are oral, tend to evolve over the years and become easier to handle. On the other hand, Artifacts, as they are made of matter, they  can't evolve like spells, they can only be activated if you know the precise spell with the exact language.The problem with ancient magic is that you only know it through legends, nothing is certain. But I can tell you that I've heard a lot about  astral rings and I'm surprised that something so powerful was in a museum and not in a safer place."

Zatanna got up from the bed and looked at each member of the family

"I don't know why that sorcerer activated the ring, since he wouldn't gain anything with that, or maybe he wanted to have the satisfaction that he was powerful enough to activate it, who knows. That artifact is from a time when beings could not control magic by themselves and it worked on its own. In this case, an astral ring works naturally and independently once activated, once activated, its purpose is to look for balance where there is chaos, and as chaos is not resolved overnight, the astral ring creates a cycle with different stages. When each stage is accomplished, then the cycle will be fulfilled and the function of the ring will be completed. Nobody can control it and break this spell before the end of the process is impossible and and if you find a way to do it, the consequences would be very devastating"

"But how do those cycles work?" Tim asked

"That will depend on each astral ring, I have heard that astral rings have been from the beginning of the universe to give order to the cosmos and avoid chaos, I have not heard stories of the ring affecting living beings directly, much less humans. it has been associated with the balance between the different dimensions, in short, this is an artifact whose main objective is to create stability, when it is in an unstable environment it creates a cycle to achieve stability"

Jason was getting dizzy because of Zatanna's complex explanation "... this is too complicated" he said rubbing his head "Just tell us how to pass the stages to break the cycle and continue with our lives"

"I don't have the answer, only the ring knows its own cycle, so it is your job to decipher how the cycle of the ring works in order to pass the stages.  Luckily, after having listened to your story and watching Dick, I have an idea of how this ring is operating... "

"Well, why didn't you say it before, just tell us what to do and that's it!" Jason said hopefully.

Everyone stared at Zatanna with expectation

"... well, I think now the time has come when I have to offer you to take a sit, take a deep breath and try to stay calm" Zatanna said a little nervous

"Zatanna..." Bruce was watching her with fear, what could be worse than the situation they were in?

"You see," she said in a slow tone "you have all been affected by the magic of the ring. Dick is not only asleep, he is at rest, it is like saying that he is in a neutral state, and if he is at rest, that means that at some point he must wake up. That's why I have an idea of how the ring cycle works. You are five people, and what the ring did was to exchange your bodies. But because all together are an odd number, a person would have to wait to be able to exchange with someone. "

Zatanna stopped talking for a moment, managing to increase the tension of the room

"Therefore ..." She spoke again "The ring chose you four first for some reason, and I think it's important that you decipher why it chose you and exchanged you first specifically. If the ring works as a cycle, and to complete the cycle you must go through different stages... Then I believe that the state in which you are right now is the first stage, and to pass the other stages you must continue to exchange bodies until you reach your original bodies and complete the cycle "

After the sorceress stoped speaking, silence reigned in the room, everyone looked at her with illegible faces

"...."

"...."

"...."

"....what?"Jason was the only one who broke the silence because he couldn't process what he had just heard

"Ok Well ... In other words, you can't just break the spell, which means that you can't go back to your original bodies without completing the cycle established by the ring, so you four must pass the first stage to wake Dick, but Dick is not going to wake up in his body, he will wake up in one of you four, which means that some of you will eventually take the place of Dick as a neutral, and that will start another stage. And you must repit this proccess with every single one of you until you return to your original bodies."

After Zatanna said that, chaos was unleashed 

Damian started screaming

"WHAAAT!?!?!? NO! YOU'RE A USELESS!! YOU, LIAR WITCH!!!"

Tim had to hold on to Dick's bed because he was about to faint 

"No... no this is not happening to me ... no ... I think I'm going to faint ... I feel so light ... This body does not work!"

 Jason seemed to have lost his mind. He began to move in circles in one place and grabbed the hairs of his head tightly. Then he started to hyperventilate and then started to laugh sardonically. They didn't know if he wanted to cry, burst out in anger or had just simply lost his mind

"... Jason, please calm down ..." Bruce was getting scared by Jason's reaction, especially because he had never imagined seeing himself in that deranged way. Even Damian had stopped screaming and Tim in the middle of his dizziness focused his eyes on Jason

"No... nononoNONO NO!... no no..., I need... I need something... Yes... I think I need something! Yes... Thats what i need..."Jason was making no sense

Bruce lost his patience with Jason's attitude

"And what is that 'something' that you need!?"Bruce was angry now "What? Drugs?! That is the 'thing' you're talking about?! Because I'm feeling some weird withdrawal simptoms here, I'm not stupid!"

Jason was indignated

"I'm not doing fucking drugs! "

"Yes, that is exactly what a person that is using drugs would say! So tell me Jason! What is it? Cocaine? Heroine?!"

"FUCKING CIGARETTES BRUCE! I'M DOING FUCKING CIGARETTES!"

"Cigarettes!? You know that you can have cancer for that!?"

"Why you're reacting as if I were doing fucking drugs!?"

"Nicotine is a drug!" 

"A LEGAL ONE! You should be proud 'dad' I'm doing something right by the law for the first time! But of course in your eyes I can't do anything right!!"

"That is not truth!-"

"Oh don't start with your bullshit!! You even thought I was doing fucking drugs! You know that I've seen what those did to Roy!  do you really think that low of myself!? Oh, wait it's truth! I was always the bad one! So of course you would believe that! What is next!? That I am a rapist or something!?"

"You're taking everything out of context! Blowing everything out of proportion, That's what you always do!"

On the other hand Tim was about to vomit

"Don't you dare harm my body with your emotional weakness, Drake!"

"It's not my fault that your body is so useless, dwarf!"

"Your body is the useless! Everytime it gets more anxious, I can tell that you're a junkie just like Todd!

That got Bruce's attention

"You too!?"

"I don't do drugs!"

"You see? Cigarettes are not drugs, even the replacement admits it!"

"I don't smoke either! it's just that I haven't had coffee since last night" 

"You are an addict Drake!"

"Coffee is not a drug!"

"Sure, tell that to your withdrawl sintoms! I'm not surprised if you even inhale coffee as it were cocaine!"

"...wow that works?" Jason asked 

"Don't try it, it will upset your stomach" added Tim

"You already tried it!?" Exclaimed Bruce outraged

"...No!"

Everyone looked at him with horror on their faces

"At least I don't smoke like Jason!" He added

"And at least I'm not so desperate as to snort coffee like cocaine! Even I must admit that it's on another level"

"It was only once! The cofee machine was damaged and I  needed caffeine in any way! Also, don't believe yourself the most holy! I know you smoke 2 packs of cigarettes a day!"

"TWO PACKS!?" Cried Bruce

"It's not two packs!... It's one and a half!"

Everyone started arguing like the last time and this time Dick wasn't awake to calm the situation

Zatanna inhaled and exhaled deeply, what had she gotten herself into?

_"Pots gnithgif dna tuhs pu!"_

Suddenly everyone calmed down and stopped talking

"Very good, better" the sorceress finally told them

"If you were acting like that last night, I'm not surprised that the ring has activated with you. You four are a complete disaster and the ring needs to create a harmony where there is chaos"

Zatanna looked at them and as they didn't say anything she kept talking

"The ring exchange you first because you are the most destabilized. You have to find a way to create a harmony between your partner so that you can move between the stages and at the end each one finally achieve the harmony between all of you"

Zatanna waited for them to say something but still had no answer

"...You understand?"

Silence 

"Oh! I forgot"

_"Uoy nac klat"_

Everyone began to clear their throats to check if they had their voices back

Everyone kept trying to digest what the sorceress said and nobody said anything until Bruce spoke

"... and for how long does the effect of the ring work?" He said with a calmer tone

"It's an artifact that has been around for billions of years Bruce, there are still active astral rings that have been stuck in the same stage for eons because they haven't been able to complete their cycle."

"...What happens if we can't complete the cycles?" Tim asked. Everyone looked at him with fear since that is the question they had been afraid to ask

"If the cycles are not met ... Then you will stay like this for the rest of your lives" she then looked at Dick "and Dick will stay in a state of Coma for the rest of his life too"

Zatanna looked at them seriously

"You have to find a way to complete the cycle as soon as possible. To put an example of the worst scenario, imagine that you stay that way, let's say, for ten years and then you finally find a way to move on to another stage. Dick would not just wake up confussed in another body, internally, he would have the same age as today. How do you think he would react if he finds out that he lost ten years of his life? And then another one of you will fall asleep for who knows how much longer... The point is that although one of you always it's going to be in a neutral state, it doesn't mean that that person is not important or is not suffering from this spell. You, even though you aren't in your own bodies, are awake and living, instead Dick is trapped in his own body without being able to wake up. In this stage it is your responsibility to awaken him, and in the next stage it will be the responsibility of Dick with three of you to wake up the next one who will take the place of neutrality so you can keep passing through the stages and complete the cycle" 

Everyone fell silent looking at Dick's sleeping body

"She's right" said Bruce as he looked at his older son "I know it's difficult, and we don't understand each other at all but if we really want to get out of this problem, we must cooperate and work together"

Bruce turned to look at the other three

First he looked at himself- well he means, Jason

Jason in his part had a frown "...I guess I don't have another option anyways"

Then he looked at Tim... Well, he looked at Tim's body, but who was inside was Damian. God, this is so confusing

"Tt, Whatever" said the minor while rolling his eyes and crossing his arms

And at the end he looked at Tim, who obvious was trapped in Damian's body

"The faster we solve this, the better."

Well, maybe they can get out of this, at least there is nothing that could be worse, right?

Then Bruce opened his eyes as if he remembered something super important

"Oh no... This week I have an important meeting with executives of the Lexcorp!"

Jason laughed sarcastically 

"Well you'll have to cancel it because I'm not going to go to a boring 8-hour meeting to discuss issues that don't matter to me"

"Jason-"

"Oh god, that means the dwarf is now in charge of Wayne technologies? Oh no no, do you know how much work it has taken me to gain respect in those offices? Nobody takes me seriously because I am the youngest and they are jelous that I know so much without wasting years in collage! Now he's going to throw all my work in the trash! " Tim put his hands to his face in frustration

"...Father, you can't pretend that this good for nothing take my place in school!" Damian said alarmed "... He can't! No! Better I miss classes until I return to my original body" 

Bruce was already getting tired "ok it's enough!" 

Everyone was silent

"Cooperation, remember? We all have a life and our own responsibilities. The rest of the world doesn't know that we have exchanged bodies so we must try to put ourselves in the shoes of the other and try to do the things that the other does so as not to affect our social, labor or school life " 

Everyone started to protest again

"-But he'll will humiliate me at school!" Started Damian

"He doesn't know anything and I'm working on a very complex project," said Tim.

"I'm not going to lock myself in an office, Also, I have unresolved situations with several gangs-" said Jason

In all this time Zatanna was standing watching all the show that this family was putting together

"Well, I think my work here is done," said the sorceress, but nobody paid any attention. she thought about doing another spell to keep them quiet but she knew that she wasn't going to solve anything

Luckily Alfred entered the room at that time

"The dinner is served," said the butler, although that didn't distract the family from their discussion "and you're invited to dine with us, Miss Zatanna"

Zatanna saw the family battle next to her with horror 

"Your food is delicious Alfred, but I should go. I think I've had enough of this family for today," she said with a smile

"As you wish, I will accompany you to the door"

As they descended the stairs to the front door, they could hear the echoes of the discussion of the family members 

".... Alfred, how can you do it?" Said the sorceress incredulous and with sorrow to see such an elderly man with such a large family burden

"Well, it's not common for everyone to be living in the same roof, let alone being  forced to interact with each other..." He said as he opened the door and let Zatanna out

"It requires... A lot of patience, but it's nothing that I'm not used to, and it feels good to have a full house, even though it's chaotic, the mansion seems to have taken on more life"

Zatanna was going to say something but a big noise interrupted her

"Jason! that vase is part of a collection!"

"And since when you collect Vases!?"

"My father is a man of very good taste and collects diversity of things, Todd!"

"Oh, I can't do this anymore! I need a coffee!" Tim complained

"Tt, you're an addict Drake, and you will not infect my body with your wakness! But yours it's a lost cause, if I don't drink an energy drink, I think I'm going to collapse" said Damian, touching his head as it started to hurt

"Well, I'm going to smoke," said Jason trying to pass through all of them.

"Where do you think you're going? Don't even think about smoking those cancer sticks while you're in my body!" Bruce said seriously. "Besides, in your case the need to smoke is only in your head, in my case, I need to satiate your body with the 2 packs per day that you consume! "

"It's not two! That it is one and a half! And don't believe yourself the saint here that you also have your secrets. I know that these headaches and mood swings are not just because you're old. Mabye you also use drugs and you just don't want to admit it!" 

"I'm not old Jason!"

"How dare you to insult my father-"

"AHEM!"

They all fell silent when they saw Alfred who looked at them seriously next to Zatanna

"Zatanna, you were leaving? why didn't you say goodbye?" Said Bruce

"I did it but nobody listened to me" said the aforementioned

"Well, Alfred made food, if you want you can-"

"Oh no, don't worry, it's that I have to... I have to go, yes! goodbye to everyone, and Alfred... Good luck" 

Zatanna recited a few words backwards and left before anyone could tell her something

"Alfred, what did Zatanna mean when she said 'good luck'?" Tim asked.

Alfred looked at everyone and sighed

"It's not important, Master Tim, now, nobody's going to eat until you have a bath, you all have dirt with sweat from last night" 

Everyone opened their eyes in horror and began to protest and before everything went out of control again, Bruce spoke again 

"Alfred, today has been a very stressful day for all of us, we need time to adapt to our situation, can't we leave that topic for tomorrow?" Bruce said in a tone of supplication

Alfred watched them closely. He didn't agree but he knew that the members of the family had to prepare themselves mentally and now they were exhausted by everything that had happened to them

"Okay, I'll let it pass for today, but tomorrow I hope to see you all clean," said the butler

Everyone nodded and left in a hurry for the dining room

The dinner was surprisingly quiet. Everyone was too tired to keep arguing and they just wanted a moment of peace in their chaotic lives

When they finished dinner, everyone gathered in the living room

"I guess I'm not going to sleep in my apartment tonight" commented Tim

"For now, I recommend that we all live on the same roof, until this curse is over" replied Bruce

"Ok, so... we're going to sleep in our respective rooms, right? I don't want the demon snooping on my stuff" said Tim looking down at Damian

"As if your crap was of importance to me" Damian answered indifferently

And where am I supposed to sleep? in your room or in one of the guests? Because I'm more than happy to even sleep outside to not see any of you more than necessary" Jason asked

"I recommend that we all sleep in our rooms, we are not in our own bodies but we are still  ourselves on the inside, so there is no need to change rooms" said Bruce

Then he looked at Jason 

"And you don't have to go to a guest room, Jason, your room has always been available in case you ever need it."

Jason huffed "Yes, of course, it must be abandoned and full of dust"

"Jason-"

"You know what? don't start, I'm too tired, my head has hurt all day, and I feel..." Jason put his hand on his temple and inhaled deeply

Bruce looked at him carefully

"Jason, go to your room and lie down for a moment, later I'll talk to you in private"

Jason was so tired of everything, he didn't even wanted to protest, he looked at the rest of the family with tired but still annoyed eyes and went up the stairs to his room

Now in the living room were Bruce, Tim and Damian

"I am going to speak with Alfred a moment, I recommend you two go to sleep, I feel that after today, every day will be very long ones" Bruce left, leaving the youngest ones alone

"Tt, I'm leaving" said Damian, walking away from Tim

Tim was going to do the same but he stopped to say something "it's not that I care, I'd really like to see you suffer more but I think it's in my responsibility to tell you that if you don't drink a coffee or an energy drink before going to sleep, you'll wake up with a terrible headache"

"Are you serious!? I had to drink 3 cups of black coffee at dinner! You're an addict, Drake!"

"Well, if you don't want to listen to me, that's on you, but don't tell me I didn't warn you" he said as he went to his room

"As if I could fall so low as to follow your instructions or recommendations!" It was the last thing Damian said before entering his room and throwing the door with force

In another part, Jason was standing in front of what he used to call his bedroom. He didn't know why it was so hard to open the door. Maybe part of him was afraid of what he could find in a room that hadn't been inhabited for so many years

After a few minutes he took the courage to open it and stopped short when he saw the inside 

Everything was just as he left it, just as neat, just as clean. It seemed that time hadn't passed. He turned on the light and could see clearly inside. His posters were still on the wall, his bookcase was still in the same place, no sign of dust anywhere...

He entered and sat on his bed, touched the sheets and even saw part of the adult magazine that he proudly hid behind the bed

Absolutely nothing had changed

"Alfred Clean this room with the rest of the others "

Jason looked at the door and saw himself, well, Bruce, now he had to assimilate that idea, like it or not

" ...He didn't have to do it. When this is all over I will take my things and I'll leave forever, and this room would remain  completely empty"

Bruce didn't want to start another discussion so he went into the room and sat next to Jason

"You know I'd kick your ass for sitting next to me but I don't do it because you're in my body, right?" 

"Yes, Jason, I know"

"Well, then leave, the less I talk to you, the better" 

Bruce took a deep breath and pulled out a pharmacy bag

"Alfred did me the favor of buying me Nicotine patches, but they only work if I know how many cigarettes you smoke"

Jason looked at him jaded

"Just go and smoke and see for yourself how much you can hold"

"You know I'm not going to do that"

"Yes, of course you're not going to do it, I know more than anyone that even if it's for a necessary cause, you're never going to do what needs to be done"

Bruce stared at him, of course he knew what Jason was talking about, almost all the conversations with him end on that same subject. In how Bruce disappointed him, in how he didn't avenge his death...

"There's always a better way to solve problems, Jason. And in this case, I can give your body the dose of nicotine it needs in a safer way and without damaging your lungs."

Jason knew that fighting with Bruce on these issues was impossible so he decided to cooperate

"I usually smoke a pack a day, if I'm too angry, I can smoke up to two packs, taking into account that this is my normal state almost every day... I can say that I smoke a pack and half a day"

"Well... Then I think I'll start with the patch with the highest dose that has 21mg of nicotine"

Bruce was silent for a moment and Jason began to despair 

"If you're not going to tell me anything else, then get out of my room"

Bruce looked at him for a moment and then pulled a bottle of pills out of his pocket

"... You're supposed to take one after breakfast but you missed that dose so you should take it now"

Bruce opened the bottle and took out a pill. He closed it quicky and put it away

Jason saw the pill that was being offered to him and then looked at Bruce confused

"And what is this?" He ask

"A pill"

"Oh, don't shit Sherlock, really? I thought it was a candy bar!"

"Then, why do you ask?"

"Because I have the fucking right to know! Because now I'm in your body and I have to know what the hell is happening to me! I'm not an idiot either, Bruce, I knew something was strange, like if there was some kind of blanket that kept me from feeling Completely... Agh shit, now I don't even make sense anymore!... The point is, I knew you were on some kind of medication, and I have the right to know what you're taking! "

Jason was right. Bruce started moving his leg quickly, then he stopped abruptly when he noticed. He looked at Jason for a moment and then put his hand in his pocket and pulled out the bottle of pills

"They are..."

Jason snatched the bottle from Bruce and read the label

"... Zoloft? and since when you take antidepressants?" Jason said without believing it 

"That's not important, the point is that nobody besides Alfred knows about this, so I ask for your discretion"

"At some point they will find out, since everyone will eventually pass through your body" commented Jason

"I know, but I prefer that they find out in due time" Bruce got up from the bed and went to the door

"Take this dose now, I'm going to give the bottle of pills to Alfred, he's the one who always gives them to me so I don't think you will have problems with forgetting to take them"

Jason was thoughtful for a few moments

"This doesn't change anything between us" he said quickly.

"This in particular? I never said it will, but at the end of all this, something has to change between us to pass this stage, I still don't know what it is, but we must find out for everyone's good"

Bruce left and closed the door as he went. In the hallway, he crossed paths with with Alfred

"I see you don't have any scratch, I guess the conversation with master Jason went well"

"You could say that Alfred. How are Tim and Damian?"

"I went to their rooms and they're both asleep, I don't like them to go to sleep without bathing, but I'll let it pass for today"

"Thanks, Alfred, for everything, I mean. I know this situation is not easy for us and much less for you that have to deal with all of us together, I don't think I pay you enough for this" said Bruce with an apologetic smile

"Master Bruce, if you paid me for everything I do for you and the whole family, you would be bankrupt" 

After saying that, Alfred continued on his way to his room

"Goodnight Master Bruce"

"Goodnight Alfred"

Before going to sleep, Bruce walked to Dick's room and watched him sleep peacefully

"...Oh Dick, how are we going to explain everything that is happening when you wake up,  God knows when, in the body of who knows?" Bruce said to himself

Bruce closed the door of Dick's bedroom and went to his. Once lying down he couldn't  help feeling partly relieved

Maybe he was not in his body right now but his room and his bed were the same and that gave him a certain kind of normalcy to his already crazy life

Now he just needed to close his eyes

And to pray that he could survive another day more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This family is like a roller coaster at the verge of destruction XD


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Well I wanted to post this chapter like 2 weeks ago but midterm exams are the worst thing ever and I barely have time to breath XD
> 
> But I have good news! I have a beta reader! I want to thank Mystik_Owl for having edited this chapter so well. As I said before my first language is not English so I always warn you that you can find spelling mistakes. I always posted the chapters anyways because I thought it was not so bad... Oh, but how wrong I was! When I read the edited chapter I was able to see all the orthographic mistakes I make! And if in this one I had so many I can't imagine in the previous ones! I felt so embarrased! So thanks to my beta reader you can now enjoy this story almost without any spelling mistakes!
> 
> I really want to thank you for continuing and supporting this story even if it is a bit uncomfortable for you who are naturally english speakers, to see so many spelling errors :)
> 
> Who knows, maybe you see it like reading a comicbook that has terrible graphics but the story is so good that you have to put up with all the cringe and the horror you're watching in order to read and enjoy the story
> 
> Of course, I will always question whether what I write is good or not, I think it's part of my nature to be insecure about everything I do, but if you're still here it must mean that you have contradicted most of my insecurities with this story :)
> 
> Heh who knows, mabye this story can change me for the better too...
> 
> Well anyways sorry for ramble so much! Enjoy your reading!

_ It was strange _

_ He felt that he was held in suspense, but at the same time he knew that his feet were on the ground. _

_ Time seemed to be stagnant; it seemed that he was in the present without being able to move towards the future. _

_ He tried to look around, but only saw shadows... They seemed like memories. They talked, but he couldn't distinguish what they said. _

_ It was confusing, but the peace and tranquility he felt, prevented him from feeling fear. _

_ There was nothing to fear... right? _

_ Then the shadows moved around him, and he felt the ground disappear as he fell into the void. _

_ He felt pain for the first time, as if he were pierced with a stick in his chest, and he was left without air. _

_ He couldn't breathe. He wanted to go back to the quiet place of before—, to feel that peace again. _

_ The shadows surrounded him again, and they became light. A warm and comforting light. He felt elevated again, but a great dark shadow grabbed him from the ground. _

_ He tried to hold on to the light, but the darkness seemed to want to consume him. He felt that pain in his chest again and he was left without air. _

_ He felt he was stabbed in his chest again and again, and the pain-  instead of going away- it seemed to be getting worse and worse. _

_ Between tears and despair he asked the light not to leave, to help him. _

_ And when he closed his eyes, already resigned, instead of darkness, he saw... light. _

_  He left his eyes closed and felt that everything was spinning. Among the confusion he saw colors, but it was so fast that only flashes were seen. _

_ Then everything calmed down and he ended suspended in the air. With fear he opened his eyes and saw many things happening at once, but was unable to distinguish them; as if they were scenes of a life that was alien to his _

_ He wanted to close his eyes again and stay floating. _

_ It felt good, there was peace... Tranquility... _

_ And something... wet? _

_ As if it were... Licking him? _

_ 'What the hell!' _

Tim's eyes snapped open, and he was surprised to see a dog on his bed licking his whole face.

"Agh! What is this!?" Tim tried to push the dog away, but he just got more excited and started jumping

"Agh enough! Auch!" Tim tried to hide between the sheets, but the dog managed to get under them and follow, licking him off the sheets.

He tried to get out of the bed, but a cat was waiting for him and began to move between his legs every time he tried to walk.

"Ah! I can't believe this! First I have the weirdest dream of my life and now this? Why I can't sleep in peace!?"

Tim tried to take another step, but he tripped over the cat and immediately fell to the ground. The dog jumped on him and started to lick his whole face

"Agh! - ah! Help! - ahhh!!"

_ Meanwhile, in another room... _

When he opened his eyes, the room looked blurred for a few seconds. The sun peeked through the curtains with the intent to invade his eyes. He wallowed in the sheets for a few moments and saw the time on his night table.

**8:05 am**

He growled a little because it was not his habit to sleep more than 6am. He tried to sit up, but felt a giant headache that disoriented him even more. He tried to get out of bed and immediately felt  nauseous. He felt horrible, and the worst of all was that his bladder was so full that he could barely walk.

He came to the bathroom, that was an achievement. He went to the sink and splashed water on his face, then looked up to see himself in the mirror, and at that moment everything that happened the previous day suddenly entered him.

He grunted in frustration.

He couldn't take it anymore and although he tried to hold himself as long as he could since yesterday, he had no choice but to empty his bladder.

"Tt, stupid Drake and his coffee addiction" he said, disgusted as the seconds passed and he didn't finish urinating.

When he finally finished he went quickly to the sink to wash and scrub his hands, disgusted that he had to go to the bathroom while he was in Tim's body. That thought and his terrible headache made him feel sudden nausea, and he ran to empty his empty stomach in the toilet.

At that moment Alfred entered the bathroom.

"Master Damian, are you okay? I was going to wake you up when I heard a noise-"

Damian was sitting on the floor with one hand covering his face "...pain killers" was the only thing he could articulate.

Alfred went to the medicine cabinet in the mirror and found some very strong pain killers

He took a glass and filled it with water from the sink.

"I recommend that you rinse first" Alfred handed him the glass and Damian did what he said.

Then Alfred gave him the pills and he took them with the glass of water.

"I will prepare a tea, that will help calm your stomach" he said, touching the child’s back carefully. 

"...If you find the stupid Drake, tell him I'm going to kill him" Damian moaned with weakness.

"I'll let him know, Master Damian"

The butler left the room to make the tea.

While walking he found Tim down the hall. This one wore a face of annoyance.

"Alfred, they don't stop chasing me!"

Tim pointed to the dog and cat that were harassing him.

"Master Damian always feeds his pets at this time; when they don't have their food they can become very anxious."

"Well tell him to feed them! I was sleeping happily when the dog, I think he called him Tutu, licked a layer of skin off my face." Tim fumed as he dried more dog saliva from his mouth.

"The dog is called Titus, and I'm afraid the cat is my namesake." The butler said this while arching an eyebrow at the cat, who in turn looked back at him and meowed.

"I'm afraid that for now, you will have to take care of young Damian's pets since he is a little... indisposed. Besides, we can't explain to them what is happening and they only respond to the young master's orders."

"Ha! Don't tell me that he woke up with a headache and  nausea ? He can't blame me because I warned him!"

Then, Tim looked at Titus, who looked back at him, wagging his tail very happily, and Alfred, the cat, began to graze his leg and purr. Tim sighed resignedly.

"Okay, okay, where's the dog and cat food?"

"I'm afraid there is not Master Tim. Master Damian always prepares his pets' food in the kitchen."

"Excuse me?" Asked Tim, not understanding.

"The young master says that the generic pets food has harmful chemicals, so he prefers to feed his with fresh and organic foods. He even has recipes that are easy to follow—"

"...Is this for real!? Who prepares a meal for their pets! I swear, I don't know how much longer I can endure this vegan phase of the Demon brat!”

Tim put his hands to his face in frustration. 

"Agh! If you see the stupid Demon brat, tell him I'm going to kill him!" He said as he stomped away.

"I'll let him know, Master Tim" Alfred sighed.

Alfred went down to the kitchen to prepare the Tea and found Jason at the table.

"Good morning master Jason. Did you sleep well?"

"I am stuck in the body of the man who I swore I would never see again, and I'm staying in the house that I swore I would never step in again. How do you  _ think _ I slept?"

"I would say that you slept very well, taking into account that I see you in a better mood."

"Better mood! me? Ha!"

Jason was thinking for a few seconds

"Well… Now that you say it, I think that seeing the house so quiet gives me a little peace.”

"I'm glad to hear that master Jason.”

I will be making tea for Master Damian; do you fancy one? "

"Yes, thanks Alf, I think that would great"

There was a moment of silence while Alfred searched for the ingredients for the Tea. These moments of silence and stillness are a privilege in this house, so Jason took advantage of the moment to speak to Alfred about something on his mind.

"Hey Alf" he said, calling the butler's attention.

"Yes, Master Jason?"

"I wanted to ask you... Why—" Jason was going to say something, but a bark interrupted him.

"Agh! I heard you Tutu, you don't have to bark!"

"And that's how my few moments of peace went to hell" Jason muttered irritably.

"Shut up Jason, that at least you didn't wake up with a dog's tongue in your mouth!" Complained Tim

"I'm going to give each of them a piece of ham to see if they calm down," he said as he opened the fridge. He took out two slices of ham, and offered them to the pets. Titus sniffed the ham and shook his head to the side in a sign of question, and the cat landed very elegantly and turned his head in disgust.

"Master Tim, I'm afraid young Damian's pets are used to certain types of foods and do not accept changes to their diet very well." Alfred explained.

"This can't be possible! I swear these animals are exact copies of the dwarf!"

"Here is Damian's recipe book, it will be very helpful" Alfred handed the book to Tim, who looked at it incredulously.

He started to look through the book, and with every time he flipped through the pages, he was increasingly perplexed.

"WTF! These recipes look like restaurant dishes! Just look at these titles!"

_ * Brown Rice and Chicken in a Crockpot _

_ * Scrambled Egg Spinach with Salmon _

_ * Hearty Meatballs _ ...

"Master Damian has organized by day the dishes that should be provided to his pets. For example, I think that for breakfast on Sundays they should have a "chicken casserole"

Tim looked for the recipe of the chicken casserole, and his eyes grew big when he saw the instructions.

_ Ingredients: _

_ Protein: _

_ 500g Organic Free Range Chicken _

_ Vegetables: _

_ 1 cup of chopped vegetables (green beans, carrots or broccolli) _

_ 1/4 cup of rolled oats _

_ 1 cup of Quinoa _

_ 3 cups of chopped kale _

_ 3 handful of green beans _

_ 2 zucchinis _

_ 2 cups of chicken broth _

_ 1 tablespoon of olive oil _

"What the hell is wrong with that child? It looks like we're in the Buckingham Palace and these are the royal pets!"

"I'd like to help you with the recipe, but I have to check if Master Damian is better and I have to give him this tea before it gets cold." The butler handed Jason a cup of tea and left, leaving Tim frustrated, and Jason taking his tea in the kitchen.

Going up the stairs, Alfred passed Bruce's room. He was going to come in to wake him up, but he heard light relaxing music coming out of his room. He wondered what Master Bruce was doing in his room, but he had tea to deliver.

"Master Damian, here I bring you your tea. Do you feel better?"

Alfred entered Damian's room with tea and saw the youngest lying on his bed.

"Yes, these pills take effect pretty fast" he said, drinking his tea.

"I should finish this quickly. It's time to feed my pets."

"Oh don't worry, Master Damian, Master Tim is taking care of that."

"What!? You left my pets at the mercy of that idiot!?" Damian tried to jump out of bed, but Alfred stopped him.

"I beg you, Master Damian, to have tea first, you will not want to disturb your stomach with such sudden movements."

"But Pennyworth! He is quite capable of poisoning my pets!"

"I don't believe him possible, Master Damian"

"But he is an idiot! He will not know how to follow the instructions for the recipe!"

Meanwhile in the kitchen...

Tim sighed resignedly and looked at the whole instructions with great reluctance. While he read them, he tried to contain his laughs, but as he continued to read, he couldn't help but snicker uncontrolably to the point of crying.

Jason stared at him, in a bad mood.

"It's impolite to laugh alone. At least share the joke to see if you can take away the bad mood you gave me, Replacement." Jason scoffed.

"Hahaha! Oh god, I can't! Hahahah! Ok, ok, listen to this:

_ Directions: _

_ First you must take the chicken  and have a minute of silence to give respect for the life that this living being lost by the degenerated human hands. Then ask for forgiveness for what you are going to do. Tell it that it's death has not been in vain, and that it will serve to give life to other beings. Once you have pity for the spirit of the chicken, and feel that you have given permission to continue, you must take a knife and delicately, and without dishonoring their body more than it already is, cut it and sauté it in a skillet with oil. Take the bottle of chicken broth and mourn the death of hundreds of innocent chickens who were massacred and mutilated and stuffed to be in that jar, and ask the chicken for forgiveness again for having to spray it with the blood of it's siblings. Add chicken broth, rolled oats, and vegetables in pan and simmer for 15 minutes. _

_ Serve _

Jason couldn't help spitting the tea he had in his mouth, and started to laugh hysterically.

"Hahahaha! No fuck, let me see that!" Jason saw the notebook, and in fact all that was written by Damian.

"This looks like a ritual for a cult!" Said Tim between laughs.

"Ok, so I have to admit that this is excessive, he has problems!" 

"No no shhh, Jason, how can you say something like that! Don't you see that the chicken's spirit is listening to us!"

"Oooh! Of course! But where are my manners!" Jason took the chicken and put it on a silver tray. 

“Ahem!" He pretended to tear his throat. "We are gathered here to commemorate death-"

"Well, the re- death because it already came dead." Tim suggested.

"Oh yeah, that's right. We commemorate the re-death of this chicken-"

"William"

"William! Poor and unhappy chicken- Hey wait, is it a hen or a rooster?"

"Pfff does that matters?"

"But of course it matters! How are we going to call a chicken William if she is female!"

"Well, we can call it Willie then, it sounds pretty unisex"

"Okay, okay, Willie, I never knew about your existence until a few minutes ago, but I can imagine that you lived a chicken life like any other, although from the day you were hatched your destiny was decided, you dedicated yourself to live your life without any worry but to eat, shit and sleep." After talking, Jason looked at Tim. 

"You have some words for Willie?" He added.

"Well, like Jason, I only met you a few minutes ago, I took you from the refrigerator, ready to get rid of you as soon as possible..." Tim said that in a mocking tone but then stared at the chicken for a few seconds.

"But now that I think about it..." He added finally "There's no other chicken like you Willie, the fact that you're here is one of the wonders of mathematical probabilities that allows us to meet at this moment and in this specific point in our lives... "

Then he looked at the chicken more closely.

"Because there could be a multiplicity of parallel worlds with different variations in our stories, and it is possible that in another world, the chickens became extinct,  or in others never existed, but Willie, you have been able to exist. Maybe on Earth 34 your parents didn't know each other, or on Earth 2 your egg was cooked, and you weren't allowed to develop, who knows, maybe there is a Willie on Earth 12 that is praised like a god, but the important thing here is... that even if you are not alive with us, you are here, in matter, and that... leaving science and mathematics aside, beyond logic or rationality... it's a miracle."

Tim stopped talking and thoughtfully looked at the chicken. Both Jason and Tim remained silent for a few moments until Tim broke the silence.

"Well... damn, now I feel bad for killing the chicken"  Tim reflected in frustration

"Don't fuck with me, if it's already dead!" Jason said in disbelief.

"I know! It must be because I named it! This is not a random chicken now, this is Willie we are talking about!"

"Oh hell no! don't tell me that being in the body of the demon prat makes you act like him?... Wait, if I end up becoming Bruce, I swear I'll kill myself, again!" Jason said, beginning to be alarmed.

Tim was going to say something, but a voice interrupted him

"Tt. Don't know what Pennyworth thinks he is, the fact that I'm in such a useless body like this doesn't mean I become useless as-"

Damian was talking to himself as he walked into the kitchen, and stopped short when he saw himself... Well technically Tim. And he couldn't help but turn red with fury.

"YOU!" he said furiously "YOU ARE DEAD MAN!" He yelled, pointing at Tim.

"Ah! Don't come and complain because I warned you! 'Drink coffee before sleep' I told you, 'you will wake up with a headache' but no! As always, you never follow instructions, now go and pay the consequences!"

Damian couldn't help it anymore and prepared to attack Tim, but the barking of Titus and the grunts of Alfred the cat stopped him.

Damian stopped short because he had never seen his pets react so violently towards him.

"Hey!" He tried to talk between the barks of his dog "It's me, you don't have to react like that!" He said in the calm tone with which he always treats his pets, but they instead began to get more aggressive as he approached Tim.

Tim instead looked at the scene and couldn't help but laugh sardonically.

"Ha! Look how perfect! Now Tutu and Alfred are my loyal servants!"

"What are you talking about Drake!?"

"Well, now that I am in your body, they only respond to me, now for them you are the enemy!" Tim said, smiling triumphantly.

"You're lying!" Damian seemed very distressed by the situation "And his name is Titus! No Tutu! Right, Titus?"

The dog looked at him indifferently and loyally sat next to Tim

Damian felt a big blow to the heart, but he did everything he could to make Tim not realize it.

"Well, I think it's been pretty clear what side these animals belong to." Tim said as he smiled and stroked Titus' back, who in turn wagged his tail, and the cat began to purr between his legs.

"...They will realize that you are not me, maybe you look like me, but my pets are very intelligent; they will realize that inside that body that you are living, I am not" He said, trying to maintain his composure.

"Nah, I don't think so. They can be very intelligent but they will never be able to understand that their master changed his body with anyone but the enemy, so stop hoping."

Tim was very happy that he could make Damian's life as miserable as he has done to him.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to prepare an unnecessary restaurant dish for these animals, and to complete it I have to do an entire satanic ritual."

"It's not a satanic ritual! It's a process to honor-"

"Yes, yes, you don't have to say it, I've read it all, you're late for the funeral by the way!"

Jason tried to resist the urge to laugh.

"What are you laughing at, idiot!?" Damian demanded.

"Who, me? Oh nothing, I'm now internalizing the speech that made the replacement to the chicken. You should have heard it, you two are so alike."

"Of course not!" Tim and Damian spat at the same time, which caused them to become even more enraged.

"How dare you compare me to this degenerate!? After killing him, you will be next on my list!"

"Look, little Gremlin, I'm not here to argue so early. I'm leaving!" Jason was going to turn around, but Damian's voice stopped him.

"You're an imbecile, that's what you are! You're leaving because you know it's the truth!"

"Excuse me? You are the idiot here, doing absurd rituals to a dead animal. You and I have already been dead! You should know better than anyone that once we are dead, there is nothing they can do in the world of the living to redeem our soul."

"SHUT UP TODD!!"

"It's the truth! You're pathetic! You want to know what I'm going to do to this stupid chicken!?"

Jason took the biggest and sharpest knife he saw.

"This is what I'm going to do to this stupid chicken!" Jason grabbed the knife and began to stab the chicken with force.

"What are you doing Todd! Stop doing that!" Damian tried to get the knife out of Jason's hands.

"It's already dead!" No matter how many funerals you make them, you have nothing to honor because it already lost it's honor when it was murdered!"

Jason was still stabbing the chicken, and Damian started throwing things at him.

"You're sick Todd!!"

"The sick one here is you!" Jason started throwing food at Damian.

While this was going on, Tim was in the middle without knowing what to do.

"Well... This escalated quite quickly"

"Shut up Drake! You started this!" After saying that, Damian threw a glass of milk at Tim.

"Agh! Gross! Now this is going to stink!" Tim took the chicken and threw it in Damian's face.

"Hahahah look! Willie flew again after he was dead, maybe the ritual did work after all!" Jason said between laughs.

Damian became even redder and felt his blood boiling.

"CHICKENS CAN'T FLY YOU IDIOT!!"

At that moment Damian jumped on top of Jason, who  in turn grabbed Tim, and the three of them rolled around on the floor and started punching and kicking each other as they wallowed in the mutilated chicken.

The animals began to smell the raw chicken and began to eat it.

The kitchen was a mess with broken plates, pieces of food on the floor, and three dirty boys wallowing in more mess

"WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE!?"

The three remained immobile in their place. It took them a second to process what was happening, and another second to realize that they were dead.

Slowly, they looked up to see the face of their executioner.

Alfred.

He looked at them with intensity, a serious face, a straight figure and crossed arms.

"Hi Alfred... Hehehe, you see, this is not what it looks like" Tim began to say. 

A second after Tim said that, a shelf containing several ceramic plates broke, causing all the plates to fall. These in turn collided with the crystal glasses, which also fell to the ground and broke into a thousand pieces.

Everyone was silent for a few moments.

Damian was going to say something, but Alfred gestured with his hand to signal silence.

"I don't want excuses, I want the kitchen clean, as soon as possible.”

"...Yes Alfred" squacked the three in unison.

"And after you finish I want all of you to go and bath"

"WHAT!?" They all shouted at once.

"I’m sure you all hear. Not only are you covered in sweat from two days ago, but you also smell of rotten food. If I don't see you bathed before noon, I will be forced to take more drastic measures, understood?"

They knew that a fight with Alfred was a failed battle, so they had no choice but to nod and start cleaning

The first minutes cleaning up were surprisingly quiet.

They all refused to look at each other or talk to each other while they picked up the mess they had created.

Damian watched Titus help Tim picking up some papers that fell to the floor, and he couldn't help but feel anger and frustration fill him.

"Thanks Tutu" Tim said to the dog as he stroked him, and in turn wagged his tail very happily.

Damian got even angrier when he heard Tim say Titus’s name wrong.

Jason noticed. 

"Is it really humanly possible to get that red?" He commented while watching Damian.

"Ha! Leave him, he's only hurt because he doesn't have pets anymore."

"What are you talking about! Those are my pets!"

"No, you 'had' pets, not anymore."

Tim smiled triumphantly when he saw Damian's desperate face.

"Shut up Drake, those are not your pets!"

"Really? Well, now they're loyal to me, and I don't know why it affects you so much. Are you really so unbearable that you don't have any friends other than a dog and a cat? Ha, I almost feel sorry for you!”

Damian stared at him.

There was a moment of silence.

"I don't need friends" He finally said.

"Of course you don't need them!" Tim replied quickly. "You only care about yourself!"

"Ok enough" interrupted Jason. "Although I would really like to see you both killing each other, I really need you to keep cleaning, I don't want to stay here all day."

Tim and Damian listened to Jason, and decided to look away and go to different parts of the kitchen without saying anything.

After that, the minutes passed quietly and nobody said anything. They were all focused on the areas they were cleaning.

Jason was sweeping the floor, but out of nowhere he stopped short.

"Is it me or has some instrumental music been playing for a while?"

Tim and Damian turned to see Jason for a moment, and shrugged.

The minutes went on in silence. They were almost finished. Tim cleaned the island with a handkerchief, but then he was thoughtful for a few moments.

"...Where is Bruce?"

Jason and Damian looked at Tim for a moment.

"...Father always wakes up early..." Damian added.

Then they looked at each other again in silence, and out of nowhere a slight music started to be heard from a distance.

"Where does that relaxation music come from?" Tim asked.

"I told you! I knew I had heard something!" Jason said.

"It seems to come from the stairs." said Damian.

"Yes... Specifically from Bruce's room."

The three looked at each other, and they didn't have to speak to know what they had to do.

The three of them walked silently down the stairs to Bruce's room.

Once at the door they could hear the music more clearly.

"What is he doing there?" Tim asked.

"Well, there's only one way to find out" Jason said as he grabbed the knob and opened the door.

When they entered the room, the three remained immobile when they saw the interior.

The room had a dim light and the AC was turned on. In the bed, Bruce could be seen lying with a fine cloth eye mask, and it seemed that the mattress had the capacity to give full body massages, because he was lying down with the bed moving in a circular motion. Suddenly, they could smell a fragrance of lavender which, mixed with the relaxing music, created an atmosphere of peace and harmony.

"What the fuck!?" It was the only thing Jason could articulate.

Bruce got up and removed the mask from his eyes.

There was intense silence as the three of them stared at Bruce. This one in turn was sitting on the bed and watching them back.

"...Father, what are you doing?" Damian asked.

"...nothing?"

There was three seconds of silence.

And out of nowhere Jason burst in rage. "You're a son of a bitch!" He said as he pointed to Bruce, "You here relaxing with my body as if you were in a Sen Spa while I'm having the worst morning of my life in hell trapped in yours!"

Jason entered the room and disconnected the lavender fragrance machine.

"Jason, what are you doing?" Said Bruce without understanding.

"Oh, nothing, is that since I could see how you spend your morning, now I want to show you how I passed mine!"

Jason went to Bruce's bed and took the sheets off him.

"Jason, enough!" Bruce protested.

 Then Jason threw himself on the bed and began to wallow between the sheets.

"Jason, for God Sakes, you stink! Where have you put my body? It looks like you came out of a dumpster!”

"You think I came out of a dumpster? Well, believe me I come from a much worse place, a war zone with these brats! And it's all your fault!"

"It's not my fault that you're fighting with them!"

"Don't you see!? Since I'm here, all my problems are your fault!" Jason got up on the bed and looked at Bruce fixedly.

"I hope you have enjoyed these few hours of peace, Brucie..."

"Jason-"

Jason got out of bed and went to the music player. He searched for other songs and found a heavy metal album. He put a song and turned up the volume to the maximum setting.

"JASON! LOWER THE VOLUME!" said Bruce practically screaming.

"WHAT!? I can't hear you!!" Jason said raising his voice.

Bruce was going to lower the volume but Jason went ahead and pushed him to the bed.

Then Jason jumped on top of him and started wrestling with Bruce.

"Jason enough is enough!"

"What's wrong? This wasn't what you wanted? Me here in this house, to be 'your son' Well here you have me, live and in direct!"

"Why are you doing this? Don't you see that you're assaulting your own body!?" Bruce said while trying to defend himself from Jason.

"At this point my desire to kill you is so much that I don't care if you are in my body! Besides, a little struggle won't hurt anyone."

"Stop! I didn't do anything wrong, I was quiet in my room!"

"Exactly! That's what you did wrong! If I fall in hell, you also go down with me!" Jason added.

At the door Tim and Damian were silent without knowing what to do. Then a second later, Damian reacted.

"Get away from my father, Todd!" Damian ran towards Jason.

Tim was watching them and decided to intervene.

"Ok, enough, this is going to get out of control," he said.

Jason listened and picked up a pillow and threw it fiercely at Tim.

"Shut up stupid replacement of shit!" The impact of the pillow was such that Tim fell to the ground.

Tim got up annoyed and threw the pillow back but it hit Damian, making him also fall to the floor.

"Agh! You're going to pay for this you idiot!"

Damian was heading towards Tim, but Tim started running around the room. He was going to climb on the bed, but Damian grabbed him by the legs and he fell on the bed. Damian began to beat him, only for Tim  to take the lamp from the night table and begin to strangle Damian with the cable. Damian, in a quick movement, managed to shake the grip and did a somersault, falling next to Jason in bed. 

At that moment, Damian remembered his main mission, and began to fight against Jason to stop him from attacking his father. Jason tried to smother Bruce with one hand and used the other to drive Damian away. Suddenly, Tim grabbed Damian by the legs and knocked him to the ground. Now with his hands free, Jason picked up a pillow and began to suffocate Bruce while he was still struggling.

Damian started running around the room to the bathroom, and when Tim got close enough, he closed the door in his face, making him hit the door very hard. Once inside, Damian looked for something to defend himself and found a toilet plunger.  Once Tim opened the door, he was greeted with the toilet plunger on his face, and because it got stuck in his face, Tim slipped on the bathroom rug and tried to grab the shower curtain to help him get up from the floor, but it fell with the tube on top of him.  Among the mess, Tim managed to catch Damian by the feet, causing him to fall, and once on the floor, Tim dragged him and put his face inside the toilet, beginning to drown him in the water. 

Elsewhere, Bruce was struggling against the pillow that Jason was pressing in his face, and in a quick movement, he managed to kick him so hard in the crotch that Jason let go of the squeeze and began to writhe on the bed. 

Meanwhile in the bathroom, Tim was still drowning Damian in the toilet, but the youngest tried to look for something with his hand to defend himself. He found a bar of soap, which he blindly threw to hit Tim in the face. The bar of soap had fallen on Tim's eye, and in that moment, Damian got up and went to the bathroom kit, opened it and took a bottle of shaving cream, which he used to spray Tim with in his face. Tim's eyes began to burn in response. 

Between Tim's screams, Damian ran out of the bathroom to see Jason cursing and screaming on the bed while still trying to scratch Bruce. Damian climbed on the bed to hold Jason. Out of nowhere, Tim came out of the bathroom with the shaving cream bottle and ran to the bed to sprinkle white foam on Damian's face. He began to struggle with Tim, managing to spray shaving cream everywhere.

The struggle was such that the bed collapsed with the four members of the family inside.

Everyone remained silent while looking at the disaster area they had created.

Then Bruce turned red with anger.

Everyone noticed but it was Tim who spoke first.

"Look, I'm not the only one who turns red when upset," Tim commented when he saw Bruce.

Jason looked at Bruce "Nah, it's not as much as you, Replacement." he replied back.

Then Bruce looked at Jason with a murderous look and began to inhale and exhale forcefully.

"Why are you looking at me like that!? You should be happy, I gave you the family reunion you so longed for!" Jason said as if nothing out of the ordinary happened.

Everyone looked at Bruce, and Jason did hesitate to say anything more when he saw that look on his face.

Was he really so scaring when he was exploding in anger? It was weird to watch himself from this perspective.

At that moment, Alfred peeked in the door.

Bruce looked at Alfred intensely, then stood abruptly and without saying anything he passed Alfred and left the room

Then there was a very tense silence, and nobody dared to say anything

"....Do I need to say it?" Alfred asked very seriously.

The three members of the family looked at each other and lowered their heads as they slowly shook their heads.

"Then what are you waiting for?" he told them.

The three looked up at Alfred.

"clean up!" The butler told them.

"But Bruce is missing-" Tim began.

"Master Bruce started this fight and destroyed his own room?" Alfred asked.

The boys did not say anything.

"No? That is what I thought." After saying this, Alfred turned to the door, but before leaving he said something else. 

"And you know what has to happen before noon."

Everyone opened their eyes widely while Alfred closed the door and left them alone with this new job.

It wasn't hard for Alfred to find Bruce inside the huge mansion. It was to be expected that he was in the quiet Batcave, alone with his thoughts, sitting and looking at the blank screen of the batcomputer.

Alfred approached Bruce, who turned to look at him for a moment before looking back at the screen.

"...I'm not going to go upstairs." he said.

"I didn't come here to tell you that Master Bruce." Alfred replied.

Bruce sighed. "Don't tell me, they ended up burning the whole house."

"No. In fact, they're cleaning your bedroom right now."

Bruce scoffed. "If they don't finish it destroying it even more. I really doubt it."

"Master Bruce, this is not an easy situation for everyone. I think they're doing their best to live together in the best possible way."

Bruce put his hands on his face and inhaled deeply.

"Alfred, this is not going to work. Everybody hates each other, it's not even possible to have a quiet morning. I didn't even do anything and Jason attacked me, and why? Because I decided to have a morning for myself? It's absurd! It's as if they're looking for any excuse to beat each other up!" Bruce ran his hands through his hair in frustration.

Then he was silent for a few moments, looking at Alfred from the reflection of the screen of the batcomputer.

"It's very exasperating." He finally said. "How are we supposed to create harmony with each other if every day are going to be like this?"

"Well, Master Bruce, I think this is part of the ring's process. Right now you live in a family chaos, but as you all continue to interact, everyone will reach understanding eventually." Alfred said.

"Yes, but how long are we going to take? Dick is still asleep, and we are still in the same situation." 

Bruce began to move his leg quickly from of the accumulated anxiety.

"And you know," he added. "Sometimes I'd like to beat them down too, but I know I must be the 'adult' in the situation, and try to stay calm." Bruce said in a resigned sigh.

"Well..." Alfred said. "Maybe you don't need violence to maintain order and have some...  revenge."

Bruce turned to Alfred and raised an eyebrow.

"...What do you have in mind?"

"Well, you want to teach the kids a lesson and I want everyone to bathe, I think we can work on something together..."

Bruce and Alfred stared for a few moments.

Then Bruce pulled out a half smile and extended his hand to Alfred.

"It will be a pleasure to do business with you, Mr. Pennyworth."

"The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Wayne." Alfred replied with the same half smile as he shook his ward's hand.

Bruce felt that he was making a deal with the devil, but who wouldn't it in his position?

It was time for them to learn a lesson.

He just hope that he doesn't end up creating more chaos than the one he already has.

...If that is even possible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This family is like a category 5 hurricane XD

**Author's Note:**

> if you like it, I'll keep writing


End file.
